Tis the Season
by exiled mind
Summary: Accountant AU. Bones is crankier than normal this Christmas Eve and Jim knows why.


Written for celli's stocking in the LJ community fandom_stocking. Among celli's wishes were: Star Trek Reboot, Kirk/McCoy, AU, and mentions of accounting/taxes. This is what I came up with: Accountant AU.

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'Tis the Season

"It's Christmas Eve, Bones, you should be relaxed and happy. Instead you're cranky and sulking. What's up?"

Bones' only answer was a growl and a frantic tapping of keys on his laptop. He sat at the kitchen table with his computer and some file folders scattered around him and an empty coffee cup set precariously close to the table's edge. That was where Bones had spent most of the last evening before they went to bed and where Jim had found the man this morning when he woke up. The irritated expression on Bones' face did not seem to have softened overnight.

With a roll of his eyes, Jim walked over to the counter and reached for the coffeemaker, only noticing when he hefted the pot that it was empty. He cast a scathing glance at Bones - unnoticed since the other man continued to scowl down at his computer – before discarding the used filter and preparing the machine to make a fresh pot.

Jim leaned against the counter as he waited for his morning fix to brew and watched as Bones' scowl became increasingly severe the louder the coffeemaker hissed and gurgled.

When Bones growled again, not quite under his breath, Jim decided that he'd had enough. A night spent in an uncomfortable silence and a morning shaping up to be more of the same was more than his limited patience would tolerate. Jim walked over to the table, closed the lid to the laptop while ignoring Bones' protests, and sat down at the table himself.

Bones maintained a stony silence while Jim turned their chairs to face each other with their knees brushing. Once Jim had them settled to his satisfaction, he looked Bones in the eyes and said, "So obviously something is bothering you. Would you like to tell me what it is?" He hesitated for a moment before deciding to take a verbal shortcut. "And you might as well tell me because you know I'll poke and pry and whine until you eventually give in."

Bones' forehead scrunched up and he glared, narrow-eyed, at Jim for long enough that Jim began to suspect he would have to make good on his threat, before finally replying. "Tax season."

"Tax season is the reason you can't enjoy Christmas?"

"Yup."

"Even though tax preparation and financial counseling provides a healthy portion of our yearly income?"

Bones frowned at him. "Not that. It's the upcoming crunch that irritates me."

"The crunch before the filing deadline? Which occurs in April? Three-and-a-half months from now? _That_ is what has your boxers in a bunch?" Jim didn't bother to mask his incredulity.

Bones made a face at him and waved his hands as though brushing the idea away. "I don't mean the tax season in _general_, I mean the idiots who are out right now buying more than they can afford because it's Christmas Eve and therefore their last chance. And then exceeding their budgets and losing their receipts and wanting to claim stupid shit as a business expense because they wanted to impress their boss with a crappy hunk of overpriced metal from Brookstone with no actual purpose and who won't accept when you insist that it's not a legitimate deduction."

By the end of the speech the hand-waving had morphed into pointed jabs directed distressingly accurately towards Jim's heart. Also, Bones hadn't taken a single breath during his diatribe; Jim was impressed.

"And I seem to be the only one in the office that has to deal with these dimwits. I'm an accountant, not a miracle worker!"

Jim shook his head slightly to refocus himself. "You aren't upset by tax season."

Now Bones crossed his arms over his chest and adopted a belligerent expression. "Oh I'm not, am I?"

"Nope. You like the people in the office, even if you hide it behind that surly exterior of yours that doesn't fool anyone. Except maybe that new guy, Chekov. I don't think he's used to you yet, but he'll learn soon enough." Jim didn't let Bones' scowl deter him as he continued, "You get along well with most of your clients, the commute to the office sucks less now that they've finished construction on the highway, and you've even managed to tone down the financial responsibility tirades to once or twice a month now. Work is not your issue."

"Then would you care to enlighten me about what is _really_ bothering me, since you seem to know my moods ever so much better than I do myself?" Bones was clearly not impressed with Jim's deductive skills.

"This is about Joanna. Specifically, this is about not getting Joanna on Christmas Eve and not getting to wake up at the ass-crack of dawn with her and see her excitement in the morning."

Bones was completely silent and his face was carefully blank. Jim waited for several long minutes, allowing Bones time to stew or think or decide where to hit him – something.

When Bones finally spoke, Jim was surprised.

"How did you know?" Bones' voice was quietly curious and his scowl was gone.

"Because I know you. Nothing gets under your skin the way Joanna-related stuff does."

"Yeah, well." Again, Bones was silent for a long minute. "It just gets to me. Not being there. Her not being here. Everything."

Jim reached out and squeezed Bones' knee. "We'll be seeing Joanna tomorrow after she has breakfast and opens presents with her mom and stepdad, and then we'll have her the rest of Christmas Day and then all weekend. I know it's not perfect, but it's a damn sight better than last year, isn't it?"

The year before Jocelyn had taken Joanna to California to spend Christmas with her new husband's family and Bones had been forced to make do with only a phone call with his daughter on Christmas Day. He'd spent fifteen minutes on the phone feigning excitement over her newest toys to hide how broken up he was not to be with her and he'd gotten very, very drunk later that night.

"Yes. Which is why I don't trust it." Bones sighed and rubbed his hands over his face. "I keep expecting Jocelyn to call and cancel."

Jim pressed his hands to Bones' shoulders, trying to rub out the knots of tension he felt there. "You and Jocelyn have been on much better terms this year. We even survived Joanna's birthday with all of us in the same room for nearly two hours. No one yelled or fought or spontaneously burst into flames. Jocelyn wants what's best for Joanna, just like you do. Parents who can work together is definitely best for Jo. It's going to work out fine."

Bones nodded. Jim knew that he'd continue to worry until they had Joanna safely tucked at his side under the Christmas tree and opening her mounds of gifts tomorrow afternoon, but he did look a little better for having voiced his fears aloud.

Time to move on to the next phase of his strategy: distraction.

"So can you please stop wasting your energy on being falsely irritated with your clients and maybe focus it on something a little more cheerful?" Jim raised his eyebrows and cocked his head to the side as he looked at Bones, entreating. He wasn't sure if Bones' would allow himself to be diverted and was greatly relieved to see Bones flash him a lascivious grin.

"I have a good idea of how to spend the rest of the day."

Picking up on Bones' abrupt change of mood, Jim smiled back.

"I like the way you think."


End file.
